Sunday, November 21, 2010

Finding My Balance

I found this entry embedded deep in the "far reaches" of my messy journal. I have put this entry away knowing I would share it when I was ready. Most people who are plagued by mental illness but lead their life as normal as possible would agree that this feels too private to share. I know that pressing the "post" button will  be more difficult than all of those that precede it.  So here it is in plain truth...  


Depression grabs hold of me quickly and unexpectedly.The sadness covers me like a heavy woolen blanket. I can't see through the darkness and I feel like there will never be a way out. There are no tears just emptiness. My thoughts are frozen. I can't leave my house or my bedroom and I can't even lift my head off of my pillow. I need someone to guide me through the blackness by pulling on that golden thread and holding on tight. The people in my inner circle help me find my balance and safe zone. 


I think of  myself as a traveler, on a journey that never ends...but I know I will never walk alone because I will always have that golden thread. I'll need to pay attention to the sign posts along the way because it's easy to get lost and they'll help keep me on track when the storm rises.


Just A Thought:  Limitless Faith
"Faith is a sounder guide than reason. Reason can go only so far, but faith has no limits."   by  Blaise Pascal






2 comments:

  1. Your blog is really coming along, Kathy! Wonderful work! I imagine it's hard to share some of your thoughts and feelings. I'm proud of your courage and perseverence ... Jim and the boys are lucky guys!

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  2. Thank you. This has been really helpful to me and sharing these difficult issues with others who also suffer with this disease, might provide the encouragement they need to share their story with family and friends. It hasn't been easy though. It's been comforting to know that I have a lot of support.

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